Motivation

While I have felt less motivated in the last couple weeks than I was earlier in this journey, I'm still plugging along. Worked out Friday and again Monday. I think I'm coming down with a bug, so I skipped my workout yesterday, but I'm heading in again today to do both weights & HIIT. We'll see how much I can do. Wednesday nights are my Girls Night Out, so that's my reward for busting my ass in the gym.

On a side note, I'm a bit disenchanted with Donnie Wahlberg right now. Where Danny built me up in my Meet & Greet in Denver, Donnie has managed to break me (and other overweight fans) down in an interview yesterday with Kiss 108 DJ, Matty.

The interview
Matty's Response this morning

Long story short, Matty made disparaging comments about how Donnie's fans have put on weight and he should talk to us about it. Donnie's response wasn't one of defense or support of his fans, but one of a warped justification for our weight gain, due to the after-parties at Waffle Houses across the country.

To say that I was hurt by his lack of defense would be putting it mildly. I won't go on and on about this, because quite frankly, it won't do me any good. But what I will say is that when my feelings are hurt, I hold that person accountable for their words or actions. Just because Donnie Wahlberg is a celebrity doesn't change that. Ask Jonathan Knight. He was impolite in Denver and I told him about it. He didn't remember the incident and didn't apologize, but having been able to tell him that I was hurt was enough for me. In this case, I would like an apology from Donnie. Not to me personally, but to the fans who were offended by his lack of response to Matty. Will I ever get it? Probably not.

The blind admiration I had for the man is probably permanently tarnished and I find myself questioning what he says now. That part hurts even worse than the comments that were made. Donnie's always said that its not how we look that makes him love us...but now I wonder. I'm seconding guessing him and his motives. I don't like that.

So where do I go with this?

Back to the gym. Because whether I've put on weight or not in the last 20 years is irrelevant. I'm making the changes I've made for more than just my vanity. I have to refocus my energy where it belongs: my health.

Donnie, you still owe me (and hundreds of other fans) an apology. I'll hold you accountable. I would do the same for a friend who'd mistreated me. Don't take it personally. You say you're humble...now, prove it.

Haven't blogged in a bit.

I've been pretty plateaued lately, which isn't a surprise after my vacation. I ate like crap, didn't drink nearly enough water and I didn't work out the whole week I was gone.

I'm down a total of 31lbs now. I've lost 7" off my waist and 5" off my hips. I'm hoping I can get back into the gym this week and crank up my workouts again. I haven't been to the gym since Wednesday because I haven't had the car or a way to get there. I'll get back on track tomorrow, though and be fine.

I'm back to limiting what I'm drinking & eating again. Not eliminating the bad stuff, but just cutting back on the things that aren't working well for me, mostly starches & sugars, that sorta thing. I'm trying to eat more protein and may actually go get some protein powder from GNC or something to mix in my smoothies here at home.

I just went through the brutal chore of cleaning out my dresser and closets and am now the proud owner of about 1/3 of the clothes I once owned. Sad state of affairs for my wardrobe, but somebody at Goodwill will be grateful for my weightloss, I hope. Hoping to replenish my wardrobe soon, but sadly, it won't be at the same rate at which it was stripped. *laughing*

So that's that. That's where I'm at.

A total of 495 calories in a day isn't good, is it?

Yeah. I didn't think so.

It's not like I set out this morning and said "I think I'll consume less than THIRD of my allotted calories for the day. It just happened. I don't usually track my food on SparkPeople, just my fitness, so I don't think about what I eat. I keep a mental checklist of what I eat and I'm good with that. (I *hate* counting calories!)

But as I filled out my food intake today and realized that I was sitting at less than 500 calories, I couldn't help wondering how many OTHER days have I done this and not been aware that I've done it? Hard telling, to be honest with you. Which scares me.

Although this certainly explains the mood swings & fatigue I've felt lately.

I'll save the fact that I've had 16oz out of 64 oz of water for a different blog on another day. *sheepish grin*

(yes, I did eat some chicken and I'm drinkin a big glass of ice water as we speak)