Home.

Today sucked. That's about the best way I can sum it up.

The IV had to come out. The problem was two of my three meds were going through it and Kris, my day nurse, stated quite matter-of-factly that I wouldn't be able to get those meds if the IV came out. She didn't offer to call the doctor to see what he wanted to do. She didn't think to see if I could get those meds in pill format. She didn't think to see if we could put another IV in. Nope. She went straight to, "You can't have those two drugs."

The problem was that even with all three drugs, I wasn't able to stay on top of the pain. Even with all three in my system, I was staring down the barrel of a 7 on the pain threshold. At one point, I was 20 mins late on a dose and was teetering on a 10 and in tears. It wasn't pretty.

Now, know what that 10 felt like and knowing that was just being late...the thought of being without two of those three meds sent me into a panic attack. (Which, I might add, NOBODY knew I had an anxiety issue. It wasn't marked in my chart - even though the doctor who prescribed the Ativan entered it into the same system the entire hospital/medical center uses. It's a joint system.) I cried and honestly, don't remember the rest. I just knew that if I tried to explain to my nurse what was wrong, I would end up screaming at her and she didn't deserve that. Well, mostly not, anyway...she could've used some fucking initiative if you ask me, but nobody bothered asking me, so I digress. So I asked Hubs to talk to her...which he did. And within 30 mins, I had two more nurses in my room. One was talking me through my panic attack. The other was from Peds and was figuring out the best spot to put another IV so I could get the last few doses of pain meds before I left the hospital.

I did end up missing a full dose of the two IV meds, but I was able to get at least one more dose of each in. Unfortunately, it put me behind the 8 ball pain-wise and I spent the afternoon with ice packs and sleeping to try and block it out. I got about a 3 hour nap. I awoke to find out that the nurse who talked me through the panic attack was my 2nd shift nurse (YAY!) and the nurses aide was the same one I had the last time I was in the hospital in February. Both women were great and talked to me for a long time when they came on shift.

I felt better after my nap and despite not having the IV meds anymore, I wasn't experiencing too much pain. I managed to take a shower and eat some supper. What I forgot to do, however, was take another dose of the Percoset (the one med I was taking by pill). So now I'm playing catch-up. Without IV meds. And without Perc...b/c the pharmacy closed at 7. But I do have vicodin and tramadol, so I can use those until I can get my Perc Rx filled. And I can take my anxiety meds, too, if I need them.

I wanted another day in the hospital, but honestly, now that I'm home and being taken care of by my bestie/sister and my hubby...I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. AM baked me a pie. Hubby bought me pierogi. Pretty sure life can't get better.

Well, if this pain would go away, that'd be great, but overall, I am already doing better than I was after the last surgery at a week out, so there's that.

I see my doctor again in a couple weeks. Unless something monumental happens between now and then, I don't anticipate any updates. Your continued prayers and good thoughts are welcome, though.

And thank you to Brandi, Jeny and my in-laws for the beautiful flowers. They're brightening up my living room as we speak.